So there's this question: Is BDSM dealt with in Scripture?

And there's this comment: "I think the nature of this question is a problem as well. We shouldn't sexualize the site, and there's a danger of a whole trove of questions in this area being asked." ~Narnian

I was going to just reply in the comment section but felt this could be broad and big enough to warrant a discussion. Is this comment reflective of the desired attitude of Christianity.SE as a whole?

If so...why? Sex is a gift from God. It's also something that's talked about in the Christian community a lot. Why not bring it in?

3 Answers 3


The theology of sex is on topic.

Is X a sin? is not.

Purile attempts to see if Christians will discuss something taboo is not particularly welcome, because it isn't about theology, it is about titilation. I think that is the gist of what Narnian is saying, and I agree. The premise of the linked question is faulty at best, and seems mostly an attempt to see how Christians would react to a taboo.

We have enough "I enjoy some form of thing you think is sexual deviancy. Accept me!" 'questions' as it is. The Sexuality tag gets a lot of poor quality questions. If you genuinely want to know about theology, you are in the right place. If you just want to discuss and/or evaulate your own sexuality, you're not. We don't do pastoral advice, and we don't do Is X a sin.

Case Closed.

  • 2
    Except, as I commented on said question, the "is X a sin" part could easily be fixed to fit into the site's guidelines without changing the question. I think it's to our detriment that this was not done.
    – trlkly
    Aug 7, 2014 at 9:08
  • 2
    Also, your question needlessly assumes bad faith on the part of the people asking, basically calling the asker a troll. That is being judgmental, and I really, really don't think that's good for the site. And even if you were correct, the edited version of the question is clearly not trolling.
    – trlkly
    Aug 7, 2014 at 9:13

I think we should embrace questions about sex--as long as they are asked in a respectful way. The BDSM question is asked in a respectful way, especially when you consider everything that BDSM includes--it could have been a very raunchy question but was not.

In fact, when you think about it, that question is much less risque than the Song of Solomon, and I would personally be much more comfortable reading that question to a group of 6th graders, than reading the SoS to them. :)

Having said that, the particular question is a very poor question for our site, but not because of the sexual content, but because it's simply too broad and asking a "Truth question."

  • The "stag lies between the fawns" is a very descriptive passage about a sexual act. If that is in the bible, then I'm sure we can handle sex questions. You would get the selection if it were my meta question.
    – user3961
    Jul 31, 2014 at 22:06
  • But it doesn't ask a Truth Question anymore. It simply asks what the Bible says about the issue. And I'm about to edit it even more, to make it require doctrinal answers instead of just individual interpretation of Scripture.
    – trlkly
    Aug 7, 2014 at 9:19
  • @trlkly: Please be vary careful when editing other people's questions. When the meaning of the question is being changed, it really should be left to the OP.
    – Flimzy
    Aug 7, 2014 at 9:26
  • @Flimzy But it isn't being changed. That's my point. The question asked really is "What does the Bible say about BDSM?" The part about it requiring doctrinal answers is just a rule for this site. All I did was change a single line, and edit the title to stop using the word "sin" since that seemed to be a huge point of contention. Whether it is considered sinful will inherently be a part of any doctrinal answer, so I do not see that as changing the question either. If it gets the answer the asker wants, I argue it is the same question.
    – trlkly
    Aug 7, 2014 at 9:48
  • @trlkly: You just turned it from a specific question ("What does the Bible say?") into a list/too-broad question ("What do any/all Christian denominations say?") making it once again off-topic.
    – Flimzy
    Aug 7, 2014 at 9:53
  • @Flimzy Uh, no? There are hundreds of questions on the site that ask questions in that manner, with multiple answers from different interpretations of what the Bible says. I styled it off of those. If the question was specific before, then it should not have been closed in the first place. And I note that my edit was granted, meaning whoever granted it disagrees with you, as it would make no sense to accept an edit that made things worse.
    – trlkly
    Aug 7, 2014 at 10:01
  • @trlkly: Not everyone who has the sufficient rep to approve edits understands the site guidelines.
    – Flimzy
    Aug 7, 2014 at 10:02
  • @Flimzy, That seems to be flaw in the system, then. How are people getting rep that high without knowing how the site works? My understanding is also that you are incorrect. Yes, the guidelines say the question is forbidden, but they also forbid "What does the Bible say" questions. Even the currently featured question breaks that rule, with people commenting from different perspectives.
    – trlkly
    Aug 7, 2014 at 10:18
  • @trlkly: By asking and answering questions. And no, the guidelines don't forbid "What does the bible say?" questions.
    – Flimzy
    Aug 7, 2014 at 10:20
  • @Flimzy From the Tour: Don't ask about... what the Bible says about a subject (unless you specify a doctrine/tradition).
    – trlkly
    Aug 7, 2014 at 10:21
  • And, at this, I'm ending this. Do what you want. I can't have made things worse. If you think I screwed up the question, you fix it. I don't think I did by the rules the site actually follows, rather than what they say.
    – trlkly
    Aug 7, 2014 at 10:22
  • @trlkly: Perhaps the help center needs to be updated.
    – Flimzy
    Aug 7, 2014 at 10:25
  • @trlkly: I have asked about this on chat. You might stop by to contribute your thoughts if you wish.
    – Flimzy
    Aug 7, 2014 at 10:29
  • @trlkly What you are doing here is great! This is exactly what I was talking about here: meta.christianity.stackexchange.com/questions/1382/… Regardless of what anyone else says here, some people ask questions here that are considered off-topic only because the asker was no crafty enough with their wording. Metaphorically speaking, there is a heavy ban-hammer on C.SE which itself is actually deteriorating the site. This would be bad in general, but it is especially bad when people are asking theological questions.
    – Loduwijk
    Aug 8, 2014 at 18:16

A question on "BDSM" can easily be integrated into a larger question on Christian marriage in a manner like the following:

The Bible talks a quite a bit about command and submission within the context of marriage (usually with the husband commanding and the wife submitting), as a form of marital "discipline" (the "D" in "BDSM"). Given this fact, is it ok for spouses to practice "discipline" for marital pleasure (the S&M part) in the context of e.g. the husband scolding, "binding" or inflicting minor pain on the wife (that is outside the usual context of discipline) as part of the marital relationship?

As long as the question ties to basic Christian practices in the above, or similar manner, it should be ok.

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