I'm not quite sure what specifically your talking about in the first few paragraphs, and without examples I can only tell you what I see.
I see numerous users going out of their way to be above and beyond nice to people who regularly ask questions and post answers that don't come close to meeting the rules of this site, trying to guide them to understand our purpose and quality standards.
I see people abuse this nicety and continue to post this kind of stuff without reading any of this site's documentation and without making any effort to understand what makes a quality Q&A on this site.
I see our community step and and demolish trolls before they have a chance to gain a foothold here.
I see members of our community enforcing the standards they developed and that they agreed to by participating in this site and it's meta site.
What I don't see (and maybe I'm missing it) is
- Our users being churlish or arrogant when they go to enforce these standards.
This is a community with rules. We're not a Christian community, though we are largely composed of Christians. As Affable points out we have regular participants that are Atheist, Agnostic, Muslim and certainly many other faiths.
In addition we are position agnostic. Questions and answers are permitted to come from the position of any sect that claims to be Christian.
All that said, we're also a part of a wider network of question and answer sites. The Stack Exchange Network. With that privilege comes a responsibility to maintain the high quality and low signal to noise ratio that is expected of all SE sites.
In order to do this with a disparate and relatively disagreeable set of groups in a hopefully highly civilized manner, we've set forth a number of rules in addition to the standard Stack Exchange ruleset. These are outlined here on this meta site, and are summarized (with links for more detail) in the help-center.
As such we decided early on that we wanted to focus more on the academic/theological side of Christianity, because, frankly, these questions have verifiable right answers. In contrast, most questions about Christian life that are not soundly based on theology don't have answers that stand up to testability when the audience is so widely diversified as our audience is here. Because real questions have answers
That said, a question can be subjective and have good answers. In fact many questions here, many of the best questions even, have at least a subjective component. However, for these questions there are some general guidelines given at a network level in the blog post: Good Subjective, Bad Subjective. And further guidance given here.
- If you want to ask a subjective question, scope it tightly, either to a specific set/subset of religious groups (a demoniation or small set of demoninations is good here) Or to a theological tradition (Calvinism, Arminianism etc), or to a specific doctrinal position (Perseverance of the saints, believers baptism)
We understand that this raises the bar to ask questions. We believe this is a good thing. The concept of this site (and all SE sites), is to be an expert site where experts as questions and get answers from experts. In part this is an aspiration more than an actuality. However, we believe the way to attract experts is to give them hard problems to solve, not overwhelm them with easy stuff.
So to answer your question about whether or not this is a paradox, I'd like to rephrase your two points to give you some guidelines on how to ask
Try to ask objective questions. If you need to ask a subjective question, figure out what exactly you want to know and whose opinion you want on the question. If you want everyone's opinion on all the details of this question then you're asking for too much for it to be a good question here.
When you go to ask a question, show that you've at least tried to answer the question on your own first. Did you at least google it? That's really what people are asking when they ask about prior research.
To expand on that last point a bit. The main site on this network is Stack Overflow, it's a site or programmers, people who have problem as they go through their day can post questions and ask for help. However, if someone just says "hey I can't figure out how to get these columns into my select statement" they are going to be asked to show that they've at least tried to do it themselves, show some code, show exactly where they are stuck.
I share this example because if we actually want to be an expert resource we need specific detailed high level questions that show effort.
This means slowing down and thinking about questions before you ask, figure out where exactly you're stuck and then ask about that not the general concept, the nitty-gritty down to the brass tacks specifics